My Name Is Carmen Howle
by KittyLover01
Summary: They never used to understand her. And up until the moment where they figured it out, Carmen Howle was all alone...
1. Chapter 1

_They didn't understand me back then. They didn't realize I was hurting. They thought I was fine when they blamed me all the time. They thought I was fine when they insulted my only friends out of the kids' home. But you see…I'm not okay. I never was._

_My name is Carmen Howle. I'm 15 years old, and this is the story of how my life fell apart._


	2. Chapter 2

"Morning Carmen." Mike greeted, as the girl in pink sat down.

"Hi Mike." Carmen said shortly.

"Oh, sorry, did you hear someone speak?" Lily asked Elektra.

"No, I don't think I did." Elektra said.

Carmen sighed.

"Oh, yes, of course! It's Carmen, the official DG liar!" Lily announced.

"Oh, of course, how could we forget? How silly we are!" Elektra said.

"Elektra, Lily, shut up!" Tee said.

"Why should we?" Lily demanded.

"She deserves it." Elektra agreed.

Carmen got up, pushing her chair back, and rushed out.

"Ciao!" Lily called.

Johnny, who had been entering the kitchen when Carmen rushed past him, frowned and followed her, opening her room door to find her lying on her bed.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"They won't let it go." Carmen mumbled into her pillow. "I said I was sorry."

"Just leave them." Johnny said, placing a hand on Carmen's shoulder. "They're just jealous cause you've got friends and they haven't."

"But…I dunno." Carmen sighed. "I guess Esme didn't really count as a friend, because she let me down in the end."

"Lily isn't doing it on purpose, you know. Remember, she came looking for you?" Johnny pointed out. "Elektra's probably making her."

"She is." Lily said, as she walked in. "I'm sorry, Carmen, I…" but before she could speak, Carmen had stood up, grabbed Johnny's wrist, and dragged him out of the room and downstairs to eat breakfast. Carmen sat in between Tee and Johnny, and even though Elektra kept insulting her, she kept her mouth shut.

Besides, everyone would turn on her if she did something. No matter what people did to Carmen herself, if Carmen did anything back, instantly it was her fault.

"That's enough, Elektra!" Mike snapped.

"Leave Carmen alone, man!" Gina said crossly.

Maybe some people still care about me, Carmen thought.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Carmen, wait up." Tee said, jogging over to her friend. "Me and Jody are going to the mall, do you want to come?" she asked.

"I'll come!" Lily said, rushing over.

"Sorry, Tee, I have to cancel, I'm helping Tyler out with his homework." Jody said quickly.

_I know they planned this to get me to be friends with Lily again, _Carmen thought.

"Sorry, I'm busy." Carmen said.

"What with?" Lily asked.

"Life." Carmen replied, then she walked upstairs. She heard Tee and Lily go out, chattering away.

Johnny knocked on her door, and came in, closing it behind him and sitting on the bed beside her. "They were just trying to help." He pointed out.

"I know Tee and Jody were." Carmen said. "But if Lily is so willing to be mean to me because Elektra 'forces' her to, then I don't think I can be friends with her."

"I know, I wasn't trying to make you be friends with her again." Johnny said.

"Tee was." Carmen reminded him.

"I know." Johnny said. He then smiled and stood up. "Rick and I are going to play a few games of pool. Want to join in?" he asked.

Carmen thought about it, then nodded. "Alright." She agreed, and she went downstairs with him. They began to play, and even Carmen surprised herself at how good she was at this game. Within 7 minutes, the game was over.

"Wow." Rick said admiringly. "Another game?" he suggested.

"I'm in." Johnny said. "Carmen?"

"Sure." Carmen said. Johnny began to set up the pool balls.

"Carmen?" Mike appeared in the doorway. "Can I have a word?" he asked.

"Yeah." Carmen leaned her cue against the wall. "You two play, I'll have another game when I get back." She said.

The boys nodded and started playing, while Carmen headed to the office with Mike.

"What's up, Mike?" she asked, folding her arms a little and looking up at him.

"What's going on with you, Lily and Elektra?" he asked seriously.

"It's just an argument, it's nothing too extreme." Carmen said calmly.

"Carmen, if you don't tell me, I can't help you." Mike told her.

"I don't want your help." She said simply.

"Carmen, if they're bullying you, we can…"

"I said, I don't want your help!" Carmen repeated, louder. "Was that all?"

Mike sighed. "Yeah."

"Good." Carmen said, and with that, she turned and walked back to the living room, grabbing her pool cue, and waiting patiently for Johnny and Rick to finish.

Mike sat at his computer and began to work, but all the while thinking about her snap. Carmen hadn't really ever snapped at Mike before, at least not at something he'd said. What had happened to the bright, cheery girl who was always rather amusing to listen to?


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: this chapter is about to get slightly darker and more teenage. **

"He makes me so mad!" Carmen said, hitting the white ball angrily. She potted one of the balls, and her next shot, she missed.

"He's only trying to help you, Carmen." Rick said. "We're all worried about you."

"Why is it everyone thinks I need help? Don't you get it? I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I don't want_ any_ help." She snapped.

"You're only 14, Carmen, it's not like anybody thinks you can do anything extreme. You wouldn't, anyway." Rick said.

Carmen felt anger bubbling up inside her. "That's what everyone thinks, huh?!" she said, and she slammed her pool cue against the wall, causing it to crack. "Well, just you wait." She said, and she stormed off.

She dialed a number on her phone. "Hey, Katie, you know that party you told me about…"

_Later…_

"Carmen! Dinner's ready!" Gina called.

Carmen walked downstairs, making sure the coast was clear. She was wearing her party outfit. She quickly ran to the door and walked out.

She got a taxi and soon she was at Katie's house. Music was booming out of the speakers; Katie was a girl in Carmen's year. Her parents were out for the weekend, so she was having a party. She knocked on Katie's door.

"Carmen, hey! You look gorgeous!" Katie said, and she let Carmen in.

It was amazing; so many boys and girls were dancing, eating, drinking and chatting. They all looked amazing, but Carmen and Katie seemed to be the only ones wearing short skirts.

"Here, drink this." Katie said, giving Carmen a drink with strangely more fizz than anything she'd ever seen. Shrugging it off, Carmen downed it in one.

She and Katie got dancing. Carmen kept having those drinks. People kept taking pictures. Who said she was a goody-goody?

"Carmen." Johnny was suddenly beside her.

"Johnny?! What are you doing here?!" Carmen giggled and stumbled a little, and Johnny caught her.

"I've been here the whole time." Johnny said.

The two danced together. Katie kept bringing those drinks over…

Suddenly, Carmen sat bolt upright. She was in a bed…suddenly she looked next to her and let out a shriek of horror. She looked down at herself under the covers, and around the room, her heart beating fast.

Her clothes were strewn across the room, and Johnny was lying, asleep, in a strange bed, next to her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Shit. Shit shit SHIT!" Carmen whispered. She leaped out of bed and grabbed her clothes, pulling them on quickly. She put her earrings in and put her necklace back on, and, holding her high heels, walked outside.

There were people sleeping, everywhere…Katie was asleep no the sofa with some guy…Carmen looked down at herself, relieved she was dressed, and then looked back at the room she'd just run out of. She had no idea what had happened, but she was sure it wasn't anything serious…after all, she and Johnny were friends…he wouldn't let that happen…and neither would she.

But why couldn't she remember?

Carmen ran out of Katie's house, slamming the door behind her. She slipped her high heels on and ran all the way back to the dumping ground.

"Where the heck have you been?" Lily asked.

"I was at Katie's." Carmen said.

"Doing what?" Mike asked.

"It was a sleepover/party, Mike, it's no big deal." Carmen said, storming upstairs.

She groaned and put a hand to her head. She felt so dizzy and she had a bursting pain in her head…she was obviously hung over. She staggered out of her room and into the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. When she'd finished and freshened herself up, she shakily walked out of the bathroom.

Johnny walked upstairs just as she exited the bathroom. The scene she'd found herself at this morning with him made her heart start thumping.

He offered a weak smile. "You too?" he asked, clutching his head.

"Yeah." Carmen agreed. "Remember anything from last night?" she asked, hopeful and yet frightened at the same time.

"Not yet. It'll come back to us though. I woke up in a bed this morning…and my clothes were scattered everywhere…but I was on my own. It was strange." He shrugged and walked into his bedroom.

Suddenly, Carmen could see something…

_Flashback_

_Johnny pressed his lips fiercely to Carmen's and she returned the kiss. Her hands were fumbling with his shirt and she pushed it off his shoulders…_

Carmen ran into her bedroom, her heart beating fast. They hadn't…but Carmen didn't need any more proof. She and Johnny…they'd had sex.

"FUCK!" Carmen shouted. She quickly slammed her bedroom door shut and changed into a new outfit. Quickly, she grabbed some money and ran downstairs. "I'm going to the mall, w-with Katie!" she shouted, and before anybody could protest, she ran out.

Carmen's breathing was sharp and heavy. She walked into the pharmacy and bought tons of pregnancy tests. She ran into a nearby toilet and locked herself in. She knew what she had to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Carmen stared at the pregnancy tests. Every single one she had bought, she'd tried. 2 minutes had passed, and each one said the same.

_Positive._

"No…oh please, God no." Carmen said. She took a picture of the positive with her phone, then threw the pregnancy tests in the bin and stared at the door. She was just sitting on the toilet lid now, tears leaking out from her eyes. "I didn't want…"

Suddenly, her phone rang. Carmen fumbled with it, tears still pouring out of her eyes.

_Johnny calling._

Carmen answered it and put her phone up to her ear.

"Carmen…" Johnny whispered. "I'm so sorry…I didn't think we'd actually…"

"I know." Carmen said, through her tears.

"Are you crying?" Johnny asked. "Why?"

"Because…oh God…" Carmen began to sob.

"Where are you?"

"I'm…I'm at the pharmacy bathroom in town." Carmen said, getting up and unlocking the door. She kept the phone at her ear with her shoulder as she washed and dried her hands. She held her phone to her ear properly again and walked straight out of the shop.

"Oh…for a pregnancy test, right?" Johnny was whispering again.

"Yeah. I had to, Johnny, the moment I realized what we did." She was whispering too.

"Did you take the tests yet?" Johnny asked.

"Of course." Carmen said. "I'll tell you when I get back." She said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Okay." Johnny said, and he hung up.

Carmen put her phone in her pocket and walked back to the DG. Slowly, taking her time. She plastered a smile onto her face and entered.

"Hey Carmen! How was shopping?" Tee asked, with a bright smile.

"You could have asked me to come with you both." Lily complained, but she smiled jokingly.

"It was fun, but Katie had to get home to clean up after the party." Carmen said.

"You're so lucky you managed to sneak out." Lily said enviously. "Did you have fun?"

"Sure I did." Carmen said with a laugh. Then Tee and Lily headed off, along with Jody and Tyler, to go eat McDonalds with Mike, Gina and all the other kids.

"We'll say you and Johnny are still with Katie." Tee called before she left. It was quiet again now.

Carmen began to cry again, quietly, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. She could hear Johnny playing videogames in the living room. She walked into the living room.

Johnny looked up, making the zombies in the game kill him. He dropped the controller onto the sofa and leapt to his feet.

Carmen got out her phone and went onto pictures.

"Carmen?" Johnny asked, uneasily.

Carmen got the picture of the sticks saying positive, and shakily showed the picture to him.

"Fuck." Johnny whispered. Carmen deleted the pictures and put her phone away.

"Yeah." Carmen said. She suddenly broke down crying, falling to her knees.

Johnny kneeled in front of her and wrapped his arms round her, pulling her into a hug. "I'm not leaving you. It's your decision; your birthday is in 2 days. You'll be 15 by the time you give birth, if you decide to keep it."

"I don't know what to do!" Carmen wailed.

"I'll back you up 100%."


End file.
